Love in the Time of COVID

An Unexpected Connection

After closing my agency to care for my mom during her final days, I was drained in every possible way—financially, emotionally, and mentally. My credit was in ruins, thanks to my father maxing out accounts in my name when I was younger, and a past relationship with another gambler only made things worse. I didn’t know how to manage money, I didn’t have a stable place to live, and I didn’t have a plan for what came next.

After my mom passed, I spent weeks living in hotels. It was lonely, expensive, and unsustainable, but I didn’t have many options and was too ashamed to ask for help. Then one day, while scrolling through leasebreak.com, I found a listing for a 420-square-foot penthouse in South Williamsburg. It wasn’t much, but it was beautiful—a tiny refuge that I thought could be a temporary reset.

Desperate, I reached out to the landlord and made my case: “I’ll pay all three months left on the lease upfront, in cash. No questions asked.” To my relief, the landlord agreed. I thought this would just be a short-term solution to get me through a hard time. Little did I know, this apartment would change my life forever.

A Night of Grief and Serendipity

The night of my mom’s funeral, I returned to my cold, empty hotel room. It had been a gray, heavy day. Arguments with distant cousins fueled by their bitterness toward my father only made things worse. That night, I was grief-stricken, emotionally raw, and far from sober.

Upon returning to my hotel room, clutching the picture frame of my mother—the one that had rested above her casket, now the only tangible piece of her I had left—I received a text from my soon-to-be landlord: “Are you awake?”

Feeling impulsive and lonely, I sent him a picture of my mom with the caption: “Isn’t she beautiful?” He thought it was a mistake—that I had sent it to the wrong person. Most people would have ignored it, dismissed me as oversharing, or called me batshit crazy. But this time, something was different.

Without waiting for his reply, I FaceTimed him. I don’t even remember most of the call—I was too intoxicated—but I do remember pouring out my heart. I told him about my love for my mom, my grief, and the despair I couldn’t seem to escape.

What should have been a disaster—a drunk, grief-fueled overshare—turned into something extraordinary. He listened. He didn’t interrupt, try to fix me, or make me feel small. He just held space for me.

That interaction, messy and vulnerable as it was, started something I never expected. He called me “the most authentic woman I’ve ever met.” My self-sabotaging, self-deprecating efforts to push people away had spectacularly failed.

From Landlord to Love

Over the following days and weeks, we kept talking. What began as a landlord-tenant relationship grew into something much deeper. He flew back to New York to spend time with me, and before long, we were inseparable.

Our connection wasn’t perfect—no relationship ever is—but it was real. It was raw and transformative. He became my partner in healing and growth, and together, we started building a life that felt connected, intentional, and full of love.

That tiny penthouse in South Williamsburg, which I thought would be a temporary refuge, became the beginning of a love story I never saw coming.

Building a Partnership, Not a Fairytale

Our love wasn’t perfect. No love is. But what we found together wasn’t about perfection—it was about commitment. We chose to show up for each other, to work through our triggers, and to grow both individually and as a unit.

We learned that a perfect relationship isn’t something you find. It’s something you deliberately design. It’s built through choosing each other every day and being willing to face the hard truths together. It’s about two people doing the work—not to fix each other, but to grow alongside one another.

He introduced me to personal development in ways I had never explored. Together, we embraced the idea that relationships are mirrors. The things that triggered me most about him were often reflections of my own insecurities, fears, and areas for growth, and the same was true for him. Instead of running from those triggers, we leaned into them, using them as opportunities to better understand ourselves and deepen our connection.

Lessons I Learned

Hurt People Hurt People—But That’s a Choice. Pain doesn’t have to make you bitter. It can make you stronger if you let it. Choosing love, even when it’s hard, is always worth it.
You Can Take 100% Responsibility in a Relationship.Waiting for the other person to change or meet you halfway isn’t productive. Lead by example, and watch how it transforms the dynamic.
There’s No Such Thing as a Perfect Partner. The perfect relationship isn’t something you stumble upon—it’s something you create with someone who’s willing to do the hard work with you.
Triggers Are Gifts. Your partner’s ability to push your buttons is a reflection of where you can grow. Instead of fighting it, see it as an opportunity to evolve and become stronger together.

Lessons You Can Apply

Redefine What Love Means to You Stop searching for a perfect partner—they don’t exist. Instead, seek someone who’s willing to grow with you. Love isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress and shared commitment.
Practice Radical Responsibility Ask yourself, What can I do to improve this relationship? Instead of waiting for your partner to change, focus on what you can control. Leading by example can transform the dynamic.
Embrace the Mirror Effect When your partner’s behavior triggers you, pause and ask, What does this say about me? Triggers are often reflections of your own insecurities or areas for growth. Use them as tools for self-discovery and improvement.
Build Together, Not Alone A healthy relationship is a partnership. Find someone willing to invest in the work, and remember that building a life together takes effort, intention, and patience.
Communicate Your Needs Clearly Don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader. Be clear about what you want and need, making it easier for them to show up for you. Vague expectations set your partner up for failure and set you up for disappointment. Communication is key to building trust and understanding.

Closing Thoughts

Love isn’t something that just happens to us. It’s something we choose, every single day. The connection I found during the pandemic wasn’t just about finding a soulmate—it was about rediscovering myself.

Relationships are messy, imperfect, and full of challenges, but they’re also mirrors that show us who we truly are. With the right person by your side, those challenges become opportunities to grow, heal, and design a life filled with intention, gratitude, and love.

Even in the darkest times, love has the power to transform everything. For me, it started with a lease—but it became a life I never imagined.

Resources to Go Deeper

Journaling Prompts:some text
- What story am I telling myself about love and relationships?
- How can I take responsibility for improving my relationship today?
- What have my past relationships taught me about myself?
- You can download this guide: __________ [Gumroad PDF]
Book Recommendations:some text
- Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller (on understanding attachment styles).
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman (on building strong relationships).
Podcasts on Relationships:some text
- On Purpose with Jay Shetty (episodes on love and self-growth).
- Dear Sugars (real-world advice on navigating love and connection).
Support for the Journey: